Let them help

Has your kid ever asked to do something, and, in the name of efficiency, you replied, “No, let me do that”?

Whether it was tying their shoes or pouring their oat milk, grownups unknowingly deprive kids of the chance to exercise their independence regularly.

I'm as guilty as the next parent. I’m busy – I work full-time, commute, keep the house as clean as possible and take care of my two kids. It’s hard to slow down and create little moments of opportunity for my toddlers.

But here’s the thing: Letting my children contribute and carry their own weight is incredibly important.

Why? First, because they long for it. I’m sure when they’re teenagers they’ll want to sleep in and lounge about and spend most of their time with their friends, but now, while I still have the chance to shape and encourage their little hearts and minds, they watch me to try to understand how to be, and they crave my permission to provide value. Second, because it helps them understand how to be a helper long term.

They want to be useful!

So what are some little ways you can encourage your kids to contribute?

1. Let them help prepare meals. Many little ones love helping adults prepare meals and snacks. If you’re making pasta, let them pour the sauce into the pan or the noodles into the pot. If you’re baking banana bread, give them the masher and let them pulverize the fruit. If they want a snack, as them to get their cup or put their blueberries into a bowl. This teaches them how to prepare food and helps them understand what goes into feeding themselves and others.

2. Give them chores. If they get out a toy, don’t let them get away with leaving it in the middle of the living room floor. Set the expectation: If you got it out, you need to put it away. Another idea? Let them help you load the laundry into the washer and put the clean clothes into the dryer. Let them toss in the dryer sheet. Another one my kids love: Raking. Buy them a manageable rake of their own and let them spend time outside cleaning up the yard. Bonus: Vitamin D and fresh air.

3. Ask them to carry in the groceries. When you’re bringing in groceries from the car, give them the lightest bag. Ask them to put the broccoli in the fridge. This helps them understand the process of shopping, putting away their food and what goes into feeding the family each week.

The bottom line: Let them be your helper! We all long for purpose and agency, and kids are no different. Encouraging them to see that they have the power to help and contribute as young people will help them apply these lessons as they continue to grow.